Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Bachelor Round-Up - Episode 2


This is the crappiest picture ever that I could find for this week's episode because ABC's website is still not exactly cooperating; but I was all set to blog about The Bachelor today, so that's what I'm going to do, damn it!

Ok so...Agnese has apparently figured out that riveting conversation isn't going to be the way to win Lorenzo over - so she decides to start making out with him instead. I'm disappointed in Agnese - she was the first one to kiss him, and I thought she moved in on it too soon; but then again, she can't really wow him with her way with words, so I guess that's all she's got.

Desiree continues to irritate the crap out of me. How about you say "baby" one more time?? She was clearly pulling out all the stops when she tried to entice Lorenzo with tales of how she likes to stop by her man's office for a little wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Lorenzo didn't seem impressed. Somehow, though, he still gave her a rose. WHY?? There's SOMETHING wrong with this man when he quips, "I haven't been called baby since I was in dipers but when Desiree jumps around and calls me baby, I like it." Um....gag.

Erica...Erica Erica Erica...PLEEEAASSSEEE stop trying to be Paris Hilton. Please! First she tells Lorenzo all about her first sexual encounter. Then she tells Lorenzo that she judges people who haven't had the opportunities she has had (because that's obviously those people's fault). Then she stands there at the rose ceremony looking pathetic and just God-awful and he STILL gives her a rose! WHY???? What is WRONG with this man?? Is he high? Is he blind? Is he deaf and dumb? Perhaps all of the above??

Dear old 'Enzo also gave a rose to Gina, and again, I cannot for the life of me decipher why. Every time we see Gina, particularly at the rose ceremonies, she has this face on like she's been eating ass for the majority of the day and can't get the taste out of her mouth. I don't know why he seems to want to keep this chick around, but then again, I can't figure out a lot of Enzo's motivations for keeping a lot of these women.

Jami also got a rose this week. While I originally liked Jami, and I haven't really changed my mind too much about her, I got the impression this week that this is a "big girl." Not "big" as in "fat," but "big" as in she looks a little mammoth compared to Enzo. Maybe he likes to be dominated. Because if that's the case, she looks like she might be game.

Jeanette didn't really strike me as pretty the first time around, but looking at her again last night, and especially on the beach with her hair a little messy, I have to say I think she might be cute; but she hasn't busted out with any atrocities yet, so we'll keep an eye on her.

Jennifer wowed Lorenzo with her ex-cheerleader jump in a bikini. Yea...I'll bet it was her stimulating convo that got her a rose pre-ceremony. Mmhmm...right.

Lisa got the first one on one date, and it seemed to go over really well. In addition, it culminated with her getting a pre-ceremony rose as well. The only thing is, Lorenzo went on about how he hated when people have "life plans," and Lisa kept very tight-lipped about her own life plans. Gee, Lis...maybe it's time that you divulge to dear Enzi how you want to be engaged for a year, married in two, kids in three, divorced in four, etc. I think now might be the time that he wants to get to know the real you; and it seems she may be getting a little over-confident with Lorenzo, because she steals him away before the rose ceremony (even though she already had a rose and didn't need the last-minute face time), and even dared to get snotty with some of the other girls, who ultimately called her out on it and made her cry. Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Finally, Sadie - Sadie also got a pre-ceremony rose, and it came out during girl talk that she's a virgin. While I personally don't understand how she has managed to come all this way through life without ever having had sex, and more importantly I don't understand why she would do that to herself, I think her decision should be respected, and I think she handled it very well when she tried to change the subject by saying, "Let's move on." I think I liked her a little bit more this episode than I originally did.

So who did Lorenzo send a-packing? Ellen, Kim, and Sarah. I don't really understand why he got rid of Ellen and Sarah, except for the fact that they were the two oldest women, and maybe he doesn't want anyone 30 or over. That theory would actually really fit his thus-far shallow impression that he's making. The only rejection that I have to agree with is his booting of Kim - Kim was something else last night. She got wasted on the group date on the beach, passed out on a beach chair, and when she came to, she was practically speaking in another language and thought that Lorenzo was a waiter. Honey, that's not going to win you points - this isn't Girls Gone Wild; and it looks like maybe Kim was just short on sleep during the week, because at the rose ceremony pre-party, Kim again fell asleep on Enzo's bed while everyone else was partying it up. Yea....I think he made the right decision by sending her home to nap.

So far, I'm not really getting the best impression of Lorenzo here. All he can ever say about the girls are how beautiful they are. Ok, we get it! The girls are beautiful!! But that's not what this is all about - you're supposed to be getting to know them and see them for who they are, Prince Charming. Every moment he can he gushes about how he is the luckiest man alive to find girls in his bed, to watch girls tackle each other in bikinis, to have girls jumping up and down as he lands his helicopter. I don't think Lorenzo is really here for the right reasons...whatever those right reasons might be for exposing your love life on national television.

Whatever. This show is like a car accident - as much as I'd like to turn away from the horror, you know I'll keep looking and tune in again next week.