Ready for Ass-Kissing, Ass-Shaking, Ass-Buffing, or Whatever Else It Might Take

I have my first on-campus interview today. Just one, mind you, while most of my friends have multiple interviews today. No matter. I'm lucky to have gotten at least one.

I'm terrified. Besides the fact that I break into a sweat by just breathing, compound that with a heavy, dark-colored suit, control-top pantyhose, and nerves, and it doesn't matter how much deodorant I lather on, I'm sure to be a hot mess by the time I get some face time. But I'm going to give it all I've got - I'm going to go in there with the attitude that I can sell an iPod to a deaf person, and let's see where that gets me.

If all else fails, I guess there's always McDonald's. Or Cubicle Hell again; but I think I'd rather take McDonald's over Cubicle Hell.

Would you like fries with that?