Life Without Internet - The Suffering is Legendary

I am FINALLY back online. This last week without internet access has been a hellish misery unlike any that I would wish on ANYONE. I have felt so out of touch with the world! The thing is, I know that at some point in my life I did live without the internet. I remember being a senior in high school and this thing called the internet was just starting to become common knowledge. I know that I did research without it for school projects, and I managed to go a day without having to read email; but alas, that's not my life anymore. So now that I'm finally back, I have so much to catch up on that I don't even know where to start.

First off, Happy Halloween, of course. No plans for me today except go to school, but I always like to give out candy to the kids.

Secondly, I just got my hands on Nicholas Sparks's newest book released yesterday, Dear John. I'm already on page 60 (despite the fact that I have a TON of things to really read for school - I couldn't help myself, I had to start). I won't make any comments about it until I'm done, though so as not to ruin it for anyone; but it's already shaping up to be a usual Sparks page-turner.

Finally, for lack of time I won't post my usual Bachelor run-down, but I'll just say this - Enzo is crazy getting rid of Agnese and not Lisa. Um, HELLO - Lisa's friend shows up with a WEDDING DRESS during the hometown date - oh, because I'm SO sure that wasn't previously contrived; and it just HAPPENS to fit Lisa perfectly; and she has wedding mags strewn all about the apartment; and even Enzo admits that he was freaked out, while Lisa muses that she hopes that him seeing her in a wedding dress will help him realize that he can marry her??!?!?!? WTF is going ON????!?!?! And he KEEPS this nut job?? Frankly, I don't even know if I can go on with this season - the options are the Out-of-her-mind Lisa, the Virgin Flower Sadie (tons of fun that would be), and Jennifer from Miami with the father that is ready to blow Enzo's brains out. Looks like slim pickins to me.

H A P P Y H A L L O W E E N !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bachelor Round-Up Episode 4

So sorry for the late post - my internet at home as been on the fritz and I haven't been able to access it all day. Needless to say, I'm internet-starved at this point. So without further ado, here we go:

What a great episode last night of The Bachelor. All the girls are asked two questions that they have to answer in private, and they're told that someone will judge their answers and determine who gets the one-on-one dates with Lorenzo based on those answers, but they're not told who the judge will be. The questions are, who deserves the least to be a princess, and who is the least sincere girl in the house? The answers come through pretty much unanimously for Lisa, of course, since she's such a faker. And who was the ominous judge? None other than our little socialite Erica! Although I usually can't stand her, she was fun last night, taking out her little notebook to take "notes" while the girls gave answers, and greeting them all after the questionnaire with a very Paris Hilton-like "What's up, bitches??"

Anyway, so she gives the one-on-one dates to Sadie and Jennifer, with the rest of the girls going on a group date.

Sadie and Enzo had a really nice date together. She actually got in the plane that he was flying, which I found to be impressive, only because I'd be all about telling him I wasn't going anywhere with him in that puddle jumper; but then again, I'm not feening to be a "princess." Then they went in some hot tub together, had dinner, talked a little more about the whole virginity thing, and then she went really out on a limb and said that she could tell he wanted to kiss her all night long, so that he should do it. I thought that was a pretty bold move - but because she's always so cute about everything, it didn't come off as too forward or slutty. Of course, he gives her a rose which means a hometown date. Personally, I'm excited for this because I wanted to see Enzo in San Diego.

Next up was the group date. It was a really weird group date. Enzo decided on a toga party ("You know what we need?" "TOGA PARTY!!!!" "TOGA! TOGA!!" How come no one on the show made an Animal House reference?? HELLOOOOOO????). They got on chariots and raced one another, the winner being the recipient of a "wish" from Enzo. Personally, I was upset about this because I hate seeing horses being used for stupid things such as fictional chariot races, in the same way that I hate seeing animals at the zoo; but the dumbest thing about the chariot racing was that they weren't even really racing each other, because there was a dude at the helm of the chariot who was really driving the thing. So when Jeanette won, she really didn't win; but whatever. Ok so she gets a wish and it was really stupid, she just wanted Lorenzo to "have fun" with the whole rose ceremony thing. DUR!!! I'd have to be like "You're coming home with me, bitch!"

Finally Jennifer and Enzo go on their one-on-one date, and that seemed really nice too, and of course Enzo made out with her, because that's what he does with every girl, apparently. They also rode around in a horse-drawn carriage (again, I cringe), and I couldn't help but notice that it looked like Jennifer was carrying around a bottle of beer in the carriage. Was that really a 40??! Alcohol never seems to be scarce where Lorenzo is near. I guess that's a Bachelor staple.

Ok rose ceremony time - ciao FINALLY to Desiree (really more than time to get rid of that one), and Jeanette (Enzo must not have been impressed by her "wish). So next week are the hometown dates with Agnese, Lisa, Sadie and Jennifer. Personally, I think that Agnese's hometown date will be the best one, because there is NOTHING finer in life than a situation in which you cannot communicate with your in-laws/potential in-laws. Nothing. Lorenzo may really have hit the jackpot with this one.

Once again, ABC's Bachelor site sucks and they haven't posted any pics from last night's episode. So this post will have to go picture-less. Too many apologies today!!

Two final thoughts - my posting this week will likely be sparse due to my internet difficulties, so I apologize in advance; but on a happier note, I made the weekly Law School Roundup!! Woo hoo!!! Check it!

Reflections on the Importance of First Year

I've been meaning to blog about this topic for a week or so now, and haven't had the time to do it. So I had a couple of minutes now, and I want to get this out there before finals start looming on the horizon.

I don't usually preach about what people should do in law school/not do in law school, because let's face it, I'm no expert just because I survived one year; but, I do know what works and what doesn't work to some extent, and I see now, in retrospect, how the 1L year is so important. So important.

My advice to all 1Ls out there is this:
Concentrate on your exams. Don't worry about anything else on this earth but your exams this semester. How you do this semester will set the tone for the rest of your year. If you do well, you will feel much more confident that you know how to manage your workload. You will feel more adept at making comments in class. You will know what to expect for Spring semester finals, and you will know that you can and will be prepared. Focus on your exams this semester.

Start your outlining early. Don't leave it all for the end, don't ask some 2L for his/her outlines from last year, don't get the outlines from BarBri. Make your own. The best way to study is in making those stupid outlines.

After Christmas break, start looking for a job for next summer - a law-related job, people, not working at the local Dairy Queen. A law job of some sort, any sort, paid or unpaid, will really give you something to talk about during on campus interviews next year. I know it's a lot of thinking ahead, but law school is all about thinking ahead.

Finally, you don't really have to think about this right now, but do the journal competition at the end of the your first year. You have no idea how many doors will open for you if you make it onto a journal, and how many more doors will close if you don't even try.

Most importantly, however, make good friends. Find a good group of a few people that you can count on to study with, to bounce issues off of, and to just be there for you in general. Law school can be a lonely, isolating place, but some good friends can really help in terms of getting through it all, and doing it successfully. There will be days that you feel like an utter failure (and those days are probably many), and it's those good people around you that will remind you that you're not, and will remind you why you wanted to do this in the first place.

I'm hopping off of my soapbox now; but I hope all you 1Ls out there take this advice to heart, because it's quite true. Start outlining this month - focus on your finals, not stupid school drama - bond with some people in the course of studying and making it through the day - guaranteed, you'll all be fine.

May the force be with you!!

How Can We Even Compete?

I knew that this was done to professional pictures, but it only reinforces why "real" women can't compete with the media-induced ideal of "beauty."

Bachelor Round-Up Episode 3

Another juicy episode straight from Borghese mansion last night.

First up, Jami and Lorenzo go on a one-on-one date. She sings him some opera, which I thought sounded God-awful. Lorenzo claimed that it was the best opera he had ever heard (what a crock). Then they sit down and watch some real opera and dance to it. It all looked really nice, despite the fact that Jami looked like she could have crushed Lorenzo, then flung him over her shoulder and walked out of there. Perhaps that is what spurred Lorenzo to say to her that it was like "dancing with my sister," and so dismissed her. As usual, we were subjected to the tearful reaction of the rejected woman, who always claims that there is someone out there for her, somewhere. Really, did you think that your one and only soul mate was going to be this guy on The Bachelor?? Are you that disappointed??

Then Enzo rounds up all the girls, with the exception of Erica and Agnese, for a group date. They go to Tuscany for some wine tasting, which actually looked really fun. During the date, Jeanette chatted Enzo up a bit, which he obviously liked, and Sadie decided to tell him that she was a virgin, which he seemed to take pretty well (although you know inside he's going, "WTF, ABC??? You send me a VIRGIN?????") Then, as a kicker, during his "alone time" with Lisa, he asks her if he could kiss her - and of course she says yes - and they kiss for a few seconds. The kiss looked pretty nice, but Enzo seems to be planting these left and right lately, so I don't know that it really means anything. However, at the end of the day, Lorenzo gives the pre-ceremony rose to Jeanette, and Lisa was all sorts of upset about that - come on, Lis, you can't get EVERY rose. Oh, and of course we were once again privy to her "life plan" as she said that things were going according to schedule. Honestly, hearing her say those things put visions of Gargamel in my head, I heard villain music in the background, and could almost see her rubbing her palms together laughing, "Bwaahahahahahahahha."


The party somehow moves into the bedroom where the girls and Enzo play Truth or Dare, do some body shots (off of Enzo), and Sadie asks on Truth who Enzo has kissed. In turn, the tricky Italian answers that he has kissed each and every one of them - and Sadie is clearly frustrated with herself that she was duped and didn't word her question better.
The next day, Enzo pulls Jennifer aside (who I think looks like a blonde Carmen Electra), and chats with her. She gets all teary-eyed when she starts telling him about the kids she teaches - WHATEVER - yea, I'm sure she likes her students that much. Nice act!!! Lorenzo seemed to fall for it, though and gave her a kiss on the lips before they headed back to the house.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Erica and Agnese get word that they're going on a two-on-one date with Lorenzo, and that one of them is going home after the date. Erica again goes on her personal rants about how she's the best one for Enzo, blah blah blah. Also she starts babbling about how Agnese understands her the best because she speaks English with an Italian accent for her?? And she says things to Agnese like "Ok, me go to sleep now." WTF?????? Erica, Agnese is not RETARDED. Stop talking to her like she is!!
The three of them traipse off for their date, but Lorenzo changes his mind and decides that he wants to stay in with the girls instead of going out in Rome. I would have been bummed. They change into his loungy-clothes, and then they chat - Lorenzo muses how impressed he is with Agnese's English lately, which clearly seals the deal for him regarding her, since that was always his misgiving, that he didn't know if he could communicate with her. She was really cute too when she said that she had been practicing with a book that he gave her. Have I mentioned that she's my pick for the winner??
Finally then Lorenzo seems to come to his senses and gives the pre-ceremony rose to Agnese, sending Erica back to her socialite life. She starts whining and crying the whole way out, ROLLS DOWN THE WINDOW of the limo and is STILL harping on to Lorenzo about how he made a huge mistake. Lorenzo had a face on like "Bitch, shut up. Driver?? Please take off....NOW."
Then, on the drive to God-knows-where, Erica busts out with some crocodile tears about how this was supposed to be the one - seriously, girl, shut that hole in your face. Thank you.
Before the night is over, Enzo and Agnese watch fireworks from the balcony (which obviously scared her when they first started, but made her all that much more endearing), and her and Enzo did some serious making out. Nice.

So who did Lorenzo give the boot to this week besides Amazon Jami and Paris Hilton Wanna Be Erica? He FINALLY got rid of Gina! YES! We don't have to see her face anymore when she scrunches up her lips and looks like she smells shit. Unfortch, Enzo STILL kept around "babybabybaby" Desiree - WHY??????????? I'm hoping she hits the road next week. He should just hurry up and bang her and get it over with, since that's clearly the only thing he wants from her. Then he can send her home without any regrets.

Until next week!!

What's LawNut Listening To?

I was going to post about something else today, but now I don't feel like it because it requires me to sit here and think about substance. So I'm stealing this from Dustin and I'm calling it a day -

10 songs from your iPod/iTunes on shuffle mode -

1. The Killers - "Bones"

Such a good song off the newest album.

2. Modest Mouse - "Float On"

This song reminds me of College Roomie for some reason, and of going running in the park with BFF a few years back. I still love it.

3. The Bravery - "Honest Mistake"

This is such a great song to put in the car while you're driving off to someplace fun, like down the shore.

4. Madonna - "Dress You Up"

Who doesn't love a little old school Madonna???

5. Animotion - "Obsession"

Don't pretend like you don't know the words too...

6. Al Green - "Let's Stay Together"

This song always reminds me of Pulp Fiction when Butch is talking to Marcellus Wallace...what a great scene.

7. Dave Matthews Band - "Tripping Billies"

Awesome tune - it doesn't get any better than "eat, drink, and be merry."

8. New Order - "Morning Sun"

This song reminds me of American Psycho (one of my fav movies of all time), from the scene when Patrick Bateman is in the club and tells the bartender he wants to kill her and then "play with her blood." haaa

9. Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Hard to Concentrate"

Great song off of their latest album - really gets in my head and I find myself humming it all day long.

10. Tegan and Sara - "I Know I Know I Know"

I love this band - and this song just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

It's Not Evite, It's Me

I have come to hate Evite because of the drama that ensues when people don't reply - so I found Cubicle Dweller's post today to be quite the hoot. Enjoy!

Bachelor Round-Up - Episode 2

This is the crappiest picture ever that I could find for this week's episode because ABC's website is still not exactly cooperating; but I was all set to blog about The Bachelor today, so that's what I'm going to do, damn it!

Ok so...Agnese has apparently figured out that riveting conversation isn't going to be the way to win Lorenzo over - so she decides to start making out with him instead. I'm disappointed in Agnese - she was the first one to kiss him, and I thought she moved in on it too soon; but then again, she can't really wow him with her way with words, so I guess that's all she's got.

Desiree continues to irritate the crap out of me. How about you say "baby" one more time?? She was clearly pulling out all the stops when she tried to entice Lorenzo with tales of how she likes to stop by her man's office for a little wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. Lorenzo didn't seem impressed. Somehow, though, he still gave her a rose. WHY?? There's SOMETHING wrong with this man when he quips, "I haven't been called baby since I was in dipers but when Desiree jumps around and calls me baby, I like it." Um....gag.

Erica...Erica Erica Erica...PLEEEAASSSEEE stop trying to be Paris Hilton. Please! First she tells Lorenzo all about her first sexual encounter. Then she tells Lorenzo that she judges people who haven't had the opportunities she has had (because that's obviously those people's fault). Then she stands there at the rose ceremony looking pathetic and just God-awful and he STILL gives her a rose! WHY???? What is WRONG with this man?? Is he high? Is he blind? Is he deaf and dumb? Perhaps all of the above??

Dear old 'Enzo also gave a rose to Gina, and again, I cannot for the life of me decipher why. Every time we see Gina, particularly at the rose ceremonies, she has this face on like she's been eating ass for the majority of the day and can't get the taste out of her mouth. I don't know why he seems to want to keep this chick around, but then again, I can't figure out a lot of Enzo's motivations for keeping a lot of these women.

Jami also got a rose this week. While I originally liked Jami, and I haven't really changed my mind too much about her, I got the impression this week that this is a "big girl." Not "big" as in "fat," but "big" as in she looks a little mammoth compared to Enzo. Maybe he likes to be dominated. Because if that's the case, she looks like she might be game.

Jeanette didn't really strike me as pretty the first time around, but looking at her again last night, and especially on the beach with her hair a little messy, I have to say I think she might be cute; but she hasn't busted out with any atrocities yet, so we'll keep an eye on her.

Jennifer wowed Lorenzo with her ex-cheerleader jump in a bikini. Yea...I'll bet it was her stimulating convo that got her a rose pre-ceremony. Mmhmm...right.

Lisa got the first one on one date, and it seemed to go over really well. In addition, it culminated with her getting a pre-ceremony rose as well. The only thing is, Lorenzo went on about how he hated when people have "life plans," and Lisa kept very tight-lipped about her own life plans. Gee, Lis...maybe it's time that you divulge to dear Enzi how you want to be engaged for a year, married in two, kids in three, divorced in four, etc. I think now might be the time that he wants to get to know the real you; and it seems she may be getting a little over-confident with Lorenzo, because she steals him away before the rose ceremony (even though she already had a rose and didn't need the last-minute face time), and even dared to get snotty with some of the other girls, who ultimately called her out on it and made her cry. Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Finally, Sadie - Sadie also got a pre-ceremony rose, and it came out during girl talk that she's a virgin. While I personally don't understand how she has managed to come all this way through life without ever having had sex, and more importantly I don't understand why she would do that to herself, I think her decision should be respected, and I think she handled it very well when she tried to change the subject by saying, "Let's move on." I think I liked her a little bit more this episode than I originally did.

So who did Lorenzo send a-packing? Ellen, Kim, and Sarah. I don't really understand why he got rid of Ellen and Sarah, except for the fact that they were the two oldest women, and maybe he doesn't want anyone 30 or over. That theory would actually really fit his thus-far shallow impression that he's making. The only rejection that I have to agree with is his booting of Kim - Kim was something else last night. She got wasted on the group date on the beach, passed out on a beach chair, and when she came to, she was practically speaking in another language and thought that Lorenzo was a waiter. Honey, that's not going to win you points - this isn't Girls Gone Wild; and it looks like maybe Kim was just short on sleep during the week, because at the rose ceremony pre-party, Kim again fell asleep on Enzo's bed while everyone else was partying it up. Yea....I think he made the right decision by sending her home to nap.

So far, I'm not really getting the best impression of Lorenzo here. All he can ever say about the girls are how beautiful they are. Ok, we get it! The girls are beautiful!! But that's not what this is all about - you're supposed to be getting to know them and see them for who they are, Prince Charming. Every moment he can he gushes about how he is the luckiest man alive to find girls in his bed, to watch girls tackle each other in bikinis, to have girls jumping up and down as he lands his helicopter. I don't think Lorenzo is really here for the right reasons...whatever those right reasons might be for exposing your love life on national television.

Whatever. This show is like a car accident - as much as I'd like to turn away from the horror, you know I'll keep looking and tune in again next week.

Rshrhsrhsrhsr

Was totally all set to give my Bachelor run-down, but ABC hasn't updated their site yet tonight, and I don't want to post old links/pics. Le sigh...will have to wait until tomorrow then. I guess since I have a few minutes I'll email College Roomie before she thinks I've contracted the plague and died.

So Wrong...

I'm driving the bus down to Hell...who's with me?

It's ART, You Dummies!

Caught this on the news this morning and couldn't believe it: a teacher was apparently was reprimanded for taking a 5th grade class to the Dallas Museum of Art, where it appears that one of the children was "offended" by some nude artwork, and the kid's parent subsequently complained that going to this museum and showing kids nudes was offensive. Offensive?? It's ARTWORK. First of all, it's a penis and/or a vagina and boobs, ok? It's nothing weird or crazy, there is no sexual connotation to the artwork that shows these parts. If your 5th grader doesn't know that girls have vaginas and boys have penises, maybe you need to start having the birds and bees talk with him/her. Secondly - some of the world's most famous and revered art is of nudes! Hello, Michelangelo's David?? His penis is hanging out! So what?? I think that is ultimately the problem in this country with sex - people are so uptight about sex, and nudity that it creates this sense of taboo for our children, so that when they're 13 years old, they start banging everything in sight instead of respecting themselves. Why do they do this? Because their parents and all other adults tiptoe around the idea of sexuality. There is nothing wrong with nude artwork, people, and there is certainly nothing wrong with exposing 10 year olds to famous and important artwork. Perhaps we should stick loincloths on all nude artwork, including David. Maybe that would be "PG" enough for these people. Give me a break.

And one last thing - if this teacher took these kids to a museum on a field trip, I would imagine that there was some sort of consent form involved which the parents had to sign; and on that consent form, I would also imagine that it would be divulged that the kids were to visit the Dallas Museum of Art. Now, I've never been to the Dallas Museum of Art; but if I was told that my children (if I had any) were going to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art, or the Museum of Modern Art, for example, I would know that there would be some sort of nude artwork that they would see there. Just from being an intelligent person and having visited the museum myself. So perhaps this says something about the level of intelligence of the parents that are making such a big stink about this. Perhaps they need to take a visit to this cultural haven and check out the artwork that they've got their panties in a bunch over, and realize that it's not offensive, or wrong, or weird, or any of those things. Rant over.

Exercise Chronicles

I got this in an email today and I thought I would post it because I found it hysterical - here's to everyone (myself included), who can't ever seem to get some consistent motivation for working out....







Dear Diary

For my birthday this year, my husband (the dear) purchased a
week of personal training at the local gym for me . Although I am still in great shape since my track and field days some 35 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the gym and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Damon, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The gym encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Monday:

Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Damon waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, seductive eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Damon gave me a tour and showed me the machines.
He took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill and was alarmed that it was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his gym top and bulging shorts. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring. Damon was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

Tuesday:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Damon made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbl y on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Damon's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!!
It's a whole new life for me.

Wednesday:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I ran over the gym manager in the parking lot. Damon was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for this early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so he put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Damon told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.

Thursday:

Damon was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Damon took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the women's change room. He sent Cheryl to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine - which I sank.

Friday:

I hate that bastard Damon more than any human being has ever hated another human being in the history of the world. Stupid, masochistic gym-jock if there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. He wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the fricken barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from.) The treadmill flung me off and I landed on the nutrition adviso r. Why couldn't it have been someone big and soft, like an ice-cream salesman or a fireman?

Saturday:

Damon left a message on my answering machine in his grating,
whining voice, wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my rolling pin. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

Sunday:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go
and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year
my husband (the bastard) will choose a gift for me that is fun -like a
root canal or a pap smear.

The Bachelor is Back!!!

I am a Bachelor junkie. I always love it. I have to watch every single episode and analyze the bachelor's choices, the girls, etc. So you can imagine my excitement when I JUST found out that the Bachelor was starting up again last night! Very exciting.

First off, I think the new bachelor, Prince Lorenzo, is totally smoking. I don't care that he doesn't speak Italian and doesn't even live in Italy. He's hot. Plus he seems genuine, which is more than I can say for the last Bachelor, who was one of the most expressionless people I had ever seen in television.

Here's my rundown on the girls and my predictions for where they'll get in this game:

1. Agnese - this girl was one of the two Italian beauties that ABC threw in as a monkey wrench for Lorenzo. She's my personal pick for the winner. There seems to be a language barrier because she doesn't speak that much English, and Lord knows that Lorenzo can barely say al dente, but still - she is absolutely gorgeous, and there is an innocence about her that I don't think Lorenzo is going to find with any of the American girls.

2. Desiree - Didn't like this girl one bit. She just seems kind of slutty, what with her calling Lorenzo "baby," and doing this Vegas-style dance for him; but because Lorenzo is a man, of course he gave her a rose. She won't win, though.

3. Ellen - Definitely liked this chick. At 30, she's a little older than most of the girls this season, but I think that can be a good thing. I don't think that these 22 year old chippies are really that serious about trying to find someone to settle down with (then again, if you're on the Bachelor, are you that serious about trying to really find someone??), and I think that a real woman can be a turn-on for a guy like Lorenzo.

4. Erica - UGH. This girl is a Paris Hilton wanna be. And there is enough Paris in Paris to go around, we don't need any more. In addition, she is a "socialite," whatever that means. She was even wearing a TIARA. Lorenzo, please send this girl back home on coach. Please.

5. Gina - Not too sure about her. I think she might be too catty. She had an ugly-ass face on when the Italian girls came out. Yes, they are prettier than you. So what? Is there a need to scrunch up your face on national TV in disapproval? I think she'll go home relatively soon.

6. Jami - Definitely cute, has a great Texas accent, and looks to be a nice girl. I'm hoping she'll stick around for a while, at least long enough to get to know her a little better.

7. Jeanette - I didn't think this girl was too pretty, actually. She's definitely optimized for the show, but in the end, after you take away the makeup and the hair gets washed, I think she might be kind of ugly first thing in the morning. Again, didn't really get to know her too well (except I thought that heinous red dress she was wearing was, well, heinous), but we'll see as the show evolves.

8. Jennifer - I don't really have an opinion on this girl...is she the one that goes psycho as the season goes along??

9. Kim - I didn't think this girl was very pretty, again, might be a disaster first thing in the morning; but maybe she's nice, we'll see.

10. Lisa - Ok, totally loved this girl; and apparently Lorenzo did too, since he gave her the very first rose and an awesome pair of 2 carat diamond earrings (bling, bling!!). She and Lorenzo hugged a tree together which I thought was totally cute, and she is super cute, super bubbly, and if I had my way, it would be her and Agnese to the final two.

11. Sadie - Not a fan. This girl is a total Kelly Ripa wanna be, and you know what? There is only one Kelly Ripa. So stop trying.

12. Sarah - The whole Canadian "eh" thing bothers me. I don't think Lorenzo is going to be able to put up with it for that much longer either. I predict she won't get a one-on-one date.

And that's it!! One final thought, however, on a girl that didn't get picked, Rosella. She mentioned that she sold her car to go on the show. Sold her car??!?!?! First of all, what kind of car are you selling to go on the Bachelor?? Secondly, why isn't ABC paying for all those dresses that they have to wear and whatnot? It probably costs them $1 mil to make the show, give or take, but they probably take in 10 times that much in revenue - WTF?? They can't help these girls out with the costs of being on the show? Weird. Personally, I was thrilled that he didn't give her a rose - that's what you get for selling your car! Hope her first stop on her way back home was the used car dealership.....